Grief

So I was cleaning my room today, and I found a short monologue I wrote for Playwriting class. Oddly enough, it rang very true to recent events in my life, even though I wrote it 2 years ago. Maybe it's fate that I found this, but I wanted to share it with you, dear readers, because I actually felt a little better after reading it. Who knew that 2 years ago I would ACTUALLY be writing the future. Anyway, enjoy the monologue:

(Open: A lone man, around 28 years old, sits on the floor center stage. His head is in his hands. He looks up and slowly drops his hands to his sides.)

Grady: How could this happen? I thought I did everything right. I was always there when no one else was. Wasn't I? I was never late for anything you asked me to be there for. But when were you ever there for me? Never. Not once. Because of you, until today, I haven't left my bed in four days. I did nothing but watch "Scrubs" reruns on several different channels. The one where Dr. Cox kills three patients was on at least three times during that time. And I cried EVERY time! I didn't answer my phone, I didn't answer the door, I laid there. I didn't sleep at all. I barely ate anything that entire time. I'm STARVING!! I'm starving for your attention... But you never give it to me. And I'm tired. Physically and mentally exhausted. (Grady stands up) I just wanted to be your friend; MORE than a friend. And you led me on, making me think that's what you wanted, too. But it's not, is it? What do you want? I've given everything I can. I don't want this to end, but I don't want to go on with all this pain. I should have listened to everyone else who said to leave you alone. Stop hanging out so much, they said. I thought they were just jealous, so I ignored them. And now I see they were right. I should have listened... But I didn't. And here we are. And here come the tears. (Grady begins crying) I don't know anymore... I guess I never did. I can't stop crying. I don't want to. If I did, that would mean I've finally given up on you. And that's just not who I am. Just... tell me what to do to change everything. Tell me what I have to do to make things better. Is there anything I can do? No... I didn't think so. It's what YOU should be doing. I shouldn't have to do SHIT! I didn't do anything wrong. YOU did! Why am I the only one hurting? You should be, too! But no, you don't care. You never cared. If you really cared, you wouldn't have done this in the first place. Fuck you. I'm done. I don't care anymore. I don't. Have fun with your life. I'll have fun with mine... FUCK!!!

(Grady sits down on the floor and covers his face with his hands)

Grady: How could this happen...