I started this blog for many reasons. The catharsis of telling stories and getting feedback on them is one of them. To prove that I am a good storyteller is another. For the most part, though, it’s an introspective reason: I’m using this to sit down and remember things from my past and reflecting on who I was. To see how much I’ve changed over the years. And to see the things that have changed me, for better or for worse. There are still many more stories to come, but I wanted to take a break from the norm and let you, the readers, get to know me a little better. Because no “about me” section can ever truly explain who a person is. And even this one post, with all its insight into my soul, can’t even begin to show who I am inside. The stories in this blog and these personal posts should help.
Lately, I think a lot about the concept of love. I’ve always had a belief in three different kinds of love: Friendship, Family, and LOVE (as in “I am in love with you”). Sometimes these can blur together (at least, with the exception of LOVE and family, because that’s illegal pretty much everywhere), but most often are left apart. You can LOVE someone and have love for them as a friend, you can have a close friendship with one of your family members, you can view your friends as part of your family, and you can fall in love with one of your friends. I have at least one person that fits each one of those four blurred together categories, and I’m sure all of you do, too.
Many times, though, people are hesitant to let themselves fall in love with one of their friends. This, in my experience, is the rarest form of love. Every married couple I know says “My husband/wife is my best friend,” which may be true, but were they your best friend BEFORE you started dating or even BEFORE you got married? For a lot of people, the answer is no. I am sure someone, somewhere, answers yes to this. I’ve always believed that you SHOULD be friends with someone you love, first. What if you break up? Everyone’s so worried that the friendship would end, but if that’s true, then you probably weren’t that good of friends to begin with. I’m sorry to be the blunt one and say that, but as we all know, I am an asshole and I say what I think.
I have to say, though, if there is someone who loves you, take the chance. Even if you feel you only want to be friends, think about this: How does this person make you feel when you’re around? Do they make you happy? Maybe I’m naïve, but isn’t that what everyone wants: To be happy? If someone makes you truly happy, then go for it. Because take it from me, people come and go from your life and all it takes is a day. Don’t waste your time playing games, because you never know what will happen to you. And really, what do you have to lose?
I have no idea what will happen to me. I have no idea if my friends today will be my friends tomorrow. Maybe I’ll go to class and a girl will trip and I will catch her and we fall madly in love, like in the movies. Maybe I chase after a female friend of mine for a year before she ends up dating someone else and I fall into a deep depression. Maybe I’ll get a new job in a week, maybe I’ll be at the same job I have in a year. I don’t know. My future is hidden to me, and I can only hope for the best and sit back and let it come.
As for the past, I’ve done a lot of things I regret. I’ve not done things I regret not doing. But you can’t change the past, you can only learn from it and apologize for it and hope that people will forgive you. And there are many people I’ve hurt over the years, most of them unintentionally. I do stupid things and I do things that I think are right, even if they end up hurting someone else. For everyone reading this who can think of something I’ve done to you personally to hurt you, I truly am sorry. Whether it is from stupidity or from righteousness, it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry. I will continue to do what I think is the right thing, and so I am sorry for anyone I may hurt in the future.
What I’m trying to say is: You only live once. Go out, have an adventure or two with someone. Because life is a story and every person you meet is a chapter. Everything you do is a page, and everything on every page, in every chapter: the whole story… It’s all written by you. The pen is in your hands, my friends.
Go write a story.
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I agree with everything for the most part. Hehe. 1 of my cousins(Justin) is married to his second cousin(Nicole) and Justin's brother Nick is engaged to Nicole's sister Emily. No one has to change their last name! Now that is blurring the lines between LOVE and family if I say so. Makes you wonder if what they say about us Iowan's isnt all that false.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree that you can't truly know a person by what is in their "about me" section, I think it's somewhat unreasonable to view those as all-inclusive, whether you're the reader or the writer. I tend to fill those spaces with my catchphrase of the moment (i.e. "Annoy and Confuse") or a revealing bit of trivia (the only show my parents let me watch when I was little, other than Saturday morning cartoons, was Seinfeld) as sort of a trailer for what someone may be getting into for daring to meet me.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how online social networking has become a major means of communication. It happened so fast that there are absolutely no rules of etiquette. Makes you wonder if they had this kind of trouble right after the telephone was invented... people calling each other up and being like "You are a massive douchenozzle. Go fuck yourself." and then being civil in person.
The future is indeed uncertain, my friend. We are but dry leaves in the wind of fate, and doing well enough if we can plan our next poop carefully.