Overrated (Everything Is)

I had a friend when I was in high school... We no longer talk that often because of the events of this story... But I had a friend when I was in high school. I used to go to her house all the time because her brother was my best friend. Let's call her Mandy and we'll call him Elliot. Mandy was my age and I told her about all the people I had crushes on throughout high school. This is where most stories go "then she told all of them, and they laughed at me." This is not most stories.

Mandy was, in fact, the BEST secret keeper I've ever encountered. Ever since I started school at HLV, I had a crush on this girl, we'll call her Jamie. This crush lasted from when I met her until she began dating some guy who was a year older than us. He was a douche, so therefore will be referred to as Douche. When Jamie and Douche started dating, I did what I always do when a girl I like gets a boyfriend: I drop my feelings like a bad habit. Over the years, this has become harder and harder for me to do, to the point where it actually causes me physical pain to get rid of the feelings. Nevertheless, they were gone.

Shortly after, I began dating someone myself. Let's say her name was Amy. Amy was my first real girlfriend, and I thought I loved her. For 6 months. Until I broke up with her. Different story for a different day. Jamie and Douche had also broken up at this point, so it didn't take long for my feelings to come back. Slowly, yes, but eventually just as strong as they had been before. I told Mandy about my feelings for Jamie, and told her not to tell anyone. Jamie had also made the comment that she would never date me because I had dated her best friend, Amy. This comment was apropos of nothing, but I was dejected nonetheless.

Then I met Ophelia. For the remainder of this post, just assume all the names are made up. They always will be, unless the person actually WANTS me to use their real name. Anyway, Ophelia was a friend of Jamie and Amy's that I met while dating Amy. She was from a different town, so I didn't see her all the time like Jamie, Mandy, Elliot, Amy, and so on. After we broke up, I kept in contact with Ophelia. We'd talk on MSN (because that was the cool thing back then, to talk on IMs all the time) every night and my Junior prom was coming up and I needed a date. I asked Ophelia, and she said yes. We went to prom, had a really good time, and I developed feelings for her. My feelings for Jamie faded away at this point. I told Mandy about my feelings, and her reaction was "Oh, cool!"

A year goes by, and nothing had happened with Ophelia. It was my senior prom, I didn't have a date, I had planned on asking Jamie, but she already had a date. So another friend of mine, Kitty, was going to go with me. Then out of nowhere, her boyfriend, who hadn't wanted to go to prom, decided he wanted to go. So I was, again, dateless. I asked Ophelia, who I still talked to on a fairly regular basis. She said yes. It was a date once again. I talked about it to Mandy who was really excited about it.

Prom came and went, graduation came and went, and still no relationship came from Ophelia or Jamie. I went off to college, made friends, and forgot about my feelings for both girls over time. One day, Elliot told me to come visit him on a weekend, so I did that very next weekend. Mandy was home (she had moved to another state and back by this time) and we started reminiscing about high school. We talked about all the girls I had a crush on back then. Her response was like a kick to the stomach:

"You know, Jamie and Ophelia both liked you a lot."
"What?" I was flabbergasted. I really didn't know what to say at this point.
"Yeah. Jamie told me she liked you, but she wanted you to try harder to get her."
"...She told me she'd never date me because I dated Amy..." I was a little bit angry at this point.
"Yeah, she apparently meant that to mean 'try harder, stupid." Mandy laughed.
"And you never told me..."
"She told me not to."
"And Ophelia?"
"She told me at prom that she really liked you and wanted to date you, but she didn't know if you liked her, too."
"You knew I liked her. Why didn't you tell her?"
"You told me not to tell anyone."
"Then why didn't you tell me that she liked ME!?" I was furious at this point.
"She told me not to. There were a lot of girls who told me they liked you, but told me not to tell." She then listed off another four or five names of girls that, had I known, I definitely would have dated.

I had no more words. Elliot was there, and luckily he had words, whereas I did not. He began yelling at her for hiding all of that stuff from me. Eventually, not saying anything, Elliot and I went to his room where I proceeded to rant and rave about all the information I just received. As I said at the beginning, I no longer talk to Mandy that often, not only because of this incident, but also because she has once again moved away and it's difficult to keep in touch with someone who moves out of state. A small piece of me still holds a grudge against her for that. Such is life, though, and my world would be a completely different place had the circumstances been different. Whether my life would be better or worse, no one will ever know. All I can do is continue to live my life and hope for the best.